Good night, sweet prince.

Today was the day.

As I mentioned last week, Kaesea has been getting weaker and weaker. A couple of days ago, he went to hop up on the bathroom counter and he missed. He landed in the trashcan and limped for a bit. So we knew it was time -- we didn't want him hurting himself when we weren't here.

He hasn't been eating very well for the past few days but he was hanging around the kitchen this morning, so we gave him some milk.

He enjoyed it:


Very much.


We found a very kind veterinarian who came to the house this morning. Kaesea, in his usual way, fought the tranquilizer meant to calm him down for the lethal injection. We tried to convince him he could just relax, but he kept trying to get up. Oh, my sweet little fighter. After a second injection, he finally relaxed, although, of course that tail kept going. Just to prove a point.

On his way out, he pooped on me, which seems fitting after all the poop that we've been through for the past few years. Once he was gone, it just seemed like he was resting. Like he would still hop up and give us what for. But he didn't. He was gone.

At this point, I am kind of numb... my heart is broken into a million pieces and I'm struggling to deal with that. I make inappropriate jokes and then burst into tears. It's all awkward.

Thank you for coming on this journey with us. Kaesea was a wonderful, beautiful, strong, crazy, feisty, fluffy, noisy, loving, hilarious little darling. My life is better for having known him and will never be the same again.

Best wishes to you and yours.
xoxo
-kelly

10.09.12 : the most handsome cat in the world

10.08.12 : lil thinker

10.07.12 : face down

10.06.12 : sun kissed

10.05.12 : deep in thought

10.04.12 : party animal

Kaesea, you're a rock star.

10.03.12 : ice cream fiend

10.02.12 : you look mah-velous

I wish this photo was not blurry, because the look that Kaesea is giving himself in the mirror right here just kills me -- hilarious!

10.01.12 : shrimp

Took this photo looking down from our second floor -- Kaesea's favorite hangout in the evenings is on the couch next to his dad.

Winding Down

A few nights after my last post, I thought for sure it was "time" for Kaesea. Of course, we woke up the next day and he was all perky, purring, eating, and fluffy. It's Kaesea. Of course he sprang back.

But the overall trend right now is clearly that he is winding down. He eats less and he sleeps more every day. There haven't been any sudden tragic incidents lately (knock wood) but it's just clear that our time is coming to an end.

He's in good spirits when he's awake and he still enjoys the little things in life (meaning: cheek brushing). He purrs when I pet him, he makes biscuits and he hangs out with us, but things are just... slower.

I guess this post is fair warning: At some point soon, this blog is going to be the Bad News Day. After that, we'll go dark.

I promise you this: I'll let you know. Silence = Kaesea is still around. If there's anyone still reading this (3.5 years later!), thanks for checking in. Your good thoughts and wishes are felt and sincerely appreciated.

9.30.12 : nom nom

The quality --blurry--  and subject matter --eating-- of this photo are not great.

But here's what I love about this photo: the paw. That little bend? The fluffiness? Gah! This kills me with cuteness.

09.28.12 : epic battle

Kaesea is not allowed on the kitchen table.

I don't think he knows this.

And... I'm not telling him.

09.27.12 : snugglepuss

God, I love this pink nose.

09.26.12 : kitten fountain

We have had a lifetime of back and forths with the bathroom faucet -- we have broken him of the faucet habit many times and we have also returned to it many times.

Right now, we're in it. Cause... how can we not?
Cheers, kitten.

09.24.12 : what's up?

09.23.12 : flat n' fluffy

09.21.12 : hidey hole

Kaesea has always loved what we call a "hidey hole" around our house (a term that takes me back to childhood, brought back to life by my clever husband).

Open a drawer and he'll jump in. Leave a cabinet or closet door open, and in he slips. Years ago, Bill actually removed a door from a wardrobe we had so that Kaesea could have his own regular hidey hole to frequent.

In recent months, his carrier has become his hidey hole. As you can see, he's got a furry blanket + one of his handmade quilts padding the thing. So it's pretty cozy in there.

Love this look -- "Leave me alone. Can't you see I'm in my hidey hole?!" You might get more respect if we were calling it your "man cave," Kaesea.

09.20.12 : sweet dreams

Will I know?

Everyone insists that I will "know" when it's time for Kaesea to go. But how? Will I? I worry about this. All. The. Time.

Today, Kaesea barely ate any food and pretty much slept all day. I finally convinced him to eat some shrimp and some "dairy flavored" treats (yes, really) at the end of the day, but... it wasn't much. Mostly, he slept.

Generally, he seems content -- he purrs, he makes biscuits, and he head butts us. He still loves to have his cheeks brushed and he really enjoyed those weird treats. He hangs out with us on the couch and in bed. But... he's losing weight. And he meows all night. And today, he barely ate.

How will I know? It's been such a long, slow journey. Is this yet another bump in the road? Will we wake in the morning to find Kaesea saying, "Okay. Let's eat!" Or... is this it? I have no idea. Hate that.

[edited to add]: As soon as I wrote this, he hopped up and ate a bunch of food, then cleaned his face. It's Kaesea. Sooo... of course he did. Stay tuned.