Thursday, September 29, 2011

A Rough Week

Despite all of the cute photos, Kaesea has been having a rough time this week.

[My usual disclaimer: This is a blog about a cat with intestinal cancer, so I will be talking about bodily fluids. Sorry.]

On Monday, he vomited up his food, which he never does (usually, it's a hairball or a bit of bile) and he also had several bouts of pure liquid diarrhea (the worst kind -- no nutrient absorption at all). We gave him IV fluids and thought he might be coming around at the end of the day, but there was more liqui-poo throughout the day on Tuesday (although no more vomiting). Again, we gave him more IV fluids and by the end of the day yesterday (Wednesday), he was starting to perk up.

He's been doing okay today (Thursday), although I can tell he's lost some weight in the past week, which is amazing because I thought he was a furry bag of bones before. Now he really is!

Throughout the week, he has continued to groom himself (you can see the fluff here) and he's been eating, although not much. Today, he has eaten far more (including polishing off quite a bit of tuna!) and is getting vocal again (after complaining about how much he's been meowing in the last few months, I missed it when it was gone for the past few days) so perhaps he'll come around.

I know that he's old and he's dying of cancer and this is what to expect. But still, every damned time this happens, I worry and fret and think, "How can I fix this? What can I do?" But the reality is that I cannot fix this. I can support him and comfort him and I can pray. And that is what I am doing. And maybe this time he'll get better. Or maybe he won't.

Ugh. Maybe he won't. Whenever I think that, I immediately think, "But I'm not ready!" But the truth is, I will never be ready. And yet, the end will come. Ready or not.

We are so SO lucky to have gotten the extra 2+ years that we have gotten with Kaesea since he got sick in April 2009. So lucky. But still... I'm not ready.

Hopefully he isn't, either.

I'll keep you posted.
Thanks for being here.